Unloved? (m/m open)

Nat sighed a little and shook her head slightly, "Just take it easy Ronan. And if you ever decide you don't want a wife anymore I'll take her off your hands" Nat called with a soft laugh as she followed Walter.

While Ronan was downstairs Grace was wandering around her room, completely unaware of his return. Looking around a little she sighed softly to herself as she placed the half drunk bottle of whiskey on the dressing table and pulled off her shirt deciding she was going to take a shower, because her balance was off Grace managed to fall over with a thump while getting her jeans off. Sitting on the floor she kicked the jeans the rest of the way off and leaned her head back against the bed "Ow" she groaned as she closed her eyes trying to make the room stop spinning since she was a lightweight when it came to whiskey.

Ronan managed to make it passed the threshold in order to crash on the one thing that could take him as he was. The couch. Nat's words filtered through the haze of alcohol andadd he laughed. She should hear herself, she's ridiculous. As of he's ever get a divorce so easily, he's far from a quitter.

Perhaps it was his fault, he'd hoped for more, expected more than what the situation could provide. Neither of them were ready for marriage to begin with and he searched for something he wouldn't fine here. At least, not yet. He closed his eyes, they weighted over him and sleep took him by surprise. Or what could be called sleep as none of it became the least bit restful. Trapped in his own prison.

After staying up for several more hours and finishing off the bottle of whiskey Grace fell asleep curled up on top of the covers on the bed. She had a dreamless sleep thanks to the alcohol and woke up late in the morning with a soft groan, at some point during the night she had gotten under the covers. Squinting as she slowly sat up she groaned softly before she managed to get out of bed and slowly pulled on a dressing gown. Shuffling her way over to the door Grace opened it and started to slowly make her way downstairs.

Slipping into the kitchen she grabbed herself a glass of water, pain killer and a coffee. Downing the pain killer and water eagerly she sat down at the dining table with her elbows resting on the surface as she placed her face in her hands blocking her eyes from the light shining into the room "God I hate whiskey" she groaned to herself.

Light never reached or pierced the depths of black that'd become Roman's world. Hours flitted passed and he came late to awaken. Feeling like complete shit he lay there, on the leather couch, stared at the patters and cracked lines followed them nowhere. The warmth at his back, the frost in his chest, the empty churn in his stomach, the nightmare in his head. A thousand empty, cracked moons of his own making and it would change nothing. He'd waken each morning, each noon, worse and worser still.

Wasn't it preferred this small thing, reaching the end of the glass, the end of the can and enjoy the sensation, the high of nothing and everything just for a while? Better than smoking, better than shooting. Right? Maybe its because once upon a time life revolved revolved around work and playing his part in the grand scheme of things. Where the folks smiled, fake smiles, fake encouragements, real pride reflecting.

Once upon a time lying to himself came easy, like tugging his tie, fixing his hair, driving flashy cars to flashy buildings, work with men who wore their pants to high and woman who wore their hair too stiff. Attend meetings with machines and sign papers that kept the world moving while he rotted behind a desk on top of the world. Go to the bar, toss back cold drinks and dance with hot strangers, laugh because the allusion made it feel right. Laugh because it unlike his other life was real. As real as every step and touch and kiss that held no judgement but his own. He critiqued himself more than the cameras, more than the reporters and their fantasized tales.

That's what it all fell to, acting, the main star himself the script all improv or given to him for the satisfaction of others. Had damn it he had enough of the lights and the roles. He wanted to, for once be apart of the audience and watch and do nothing but see someone else fall apart.

That's what people enjoy the most when they come for tragedy. They say its awful bit then why see it? Why watch something you know won't lead to anything but destruction?

This can't be his life. He couldn't accept it. Fuck it. He was done. Ronan got up and dragged himself out the room and up the stairs to his room just so he could fall into bed. It smelled like her and it was all he needed to vanish from the world, the one person who's lips were poison and wine.

Hearing movement Grace forced herself to raise her head up and look out of the dining room and she watched as Ronan walked upstairs, after continuing to sit where she was for a little bit longer she forced herself to stand up and walked out of the dining room and upstairs. Walking into Ronan's room Grace sat down on the edge of it, moving carefully on the bed she reached out and gently ran her fingers through his hair.

Even though her head was throbbing Grace didn't care, she just wanted to make Ronan know that she still wanted him. She still wanted to be around him. "Wake up" Grace said softly as she slid her fingers from his hair and touched the side of his face wanting to wake him up gently even though she knew he had only just thrown himself into the bed.

Sighing softly to herself Grace leaned down towards him despite the protesting of her head and placed a soft kiss on his temple, "I am so sorry I made you think that I don't want you. I do want you" she whispered to him.

Of she wanted him then why did she take pleasure in shredding his heart to ribbons? Words meant nothing when actions contradicted them. Hazy dreaming lead to slow waking but he managed to slit his eyes open enough to see her. She invaded his world, took everything he had.

He wanted this measure of peace to last so he pulled her against him and kissed her neck, then her shoulder, you're forgiven. I'm sorry too. Ronan craved her body against his, soft and warm molded against his own. Familiar and safe he closed his eyes again. Too tired for anything more than sleep.

Grace let Ronan pull her against him, closing her eyes when he kissed her neck and then her shoulder she moved a little so she was pressed against him as much as she could be before she pressed her lips very lightly against his. "Sleep" Grace said softly as she closed her own eyes as she stayed nestled against him, in his arms she felt safe and content and didn't want to leave his embrace.

Falling asleep with him she slept soundly for a couple of hours, waking up from her sleep Grace looked around sleepily before she smiled as she looked at Ronan. Reaching out she traced his jaw very gently with her finger tips not wanting to wake him up as he looked so peaceful asleep, as if every problem he faced drifted away for a while while dreaming.

Waking up to Ronan would be something Grace could never get over.

Ronan awoke late the next day, by the afternoon when the sun sunk and bled its red into the empty horizon. He however spent considerable time snuggled up against Grace unwilling to part from her yet. Ronan pressed gentle kisses to her lips and cheek before he rose and went on to shower. He'd spend the most time in his office of course, working from home.

Grace slept soundly with Ronan with her, his gentle kiss woke her slowly and brought a sleepy smile to her lips as she slowly retuned his kisses. Waking up properly after he had left the room Grace stayed in bed for a bit longer before she had her own shower and dressed in a comfortable pair of shorts and a shot sleeved shirt.

Guessing Ronan was in his office Grace wandered into the kitchen and began to cook, she loved cooking where she could it helped her relax and it also allowed her to forget about things for a bit. Humming to herself as she prepared a roast chicken with vegetables and mashed potatoe, as the chicken was cooking Grace began to sing and dance a little in the kitchen as she started to get the vegetables ready as she wondered if Ronan could smell the food she was cooking.

"There has been a decline in clientele, if you don't do something about it, we may have to seek business elsewhere." Mr Takahashi said. "We rely on your company's technology and have been for years however, with the less than stellar history your family has—"

"You mean my father, must I remind you I am nothing like him?" Ronan cut in, "why do I feel like I have to keep repeating myself with you guys? Listen, if you want to back out you're more than welcome to." Ronan cut in, he honestly couldn't look up at the CEO's giant face projected on the screen. He might chuck his stapler. "I've already merged with a new company and I honestly don't need your criticism on my side. I've had enough of it Mr Takahashi." Natalie might chew him out for it but his patience can only go so far. 

"Well, I didn't want to bring this to the board of execs but you leave me little choice in the matter."

Is he seriously trying to threaten him? The nerve of the old geezer. Ronan could not hold his tongue any longer, "No, you just have beef with my old man, it's been like this for years. Well,news flash, I'm not my dad so quit pinning this on me, if that's all you have to say then our conversation is over." He didn't wait for the guy to protest, he slammed the monitor of the laptop and the feed cut. 

What a damn nightmare. Ronan buried his face into his hands and pushed his hair back, it was then that he detected what smelled like home cooking, he closed his eyes. How many years had it been since he saw mom? Too many. Perhaps he could visit her, sometime soon. He messaged the tension from his head, seeing as it wasn't going away he reached for the bottle of pills in the drawer and popped them into his mouth like candy. There was still the crap load of paper work he had to file but that could wait, he stood from the desk and rolled his shoulders, rubbed at the stiffness in his neck. 

He let the door slide shut behind him and went on to the kitchen isle. He took a seat on one of the stools and watched his wife. She got a kick out of cooking didn't she? He'd never seen this side of her, so carefree and cheerful. A happy sight. 

Resting his elbow on the stone top he let his head drop into his hand and merely watched, he wanted to forget about work for now. Maybe she could help. 

Grace looked up at Ronan when he came into the kitchen and she gave him a sweet smile, "You okay?" she asked softly and tipped her head to the side a little. Leaning across the counter carefully Grace pressed her lips against his lightly, taking her lips from his after a moment she smiled at him gently before she moved and took the chicken she was cooking out of the oven and began dishing enough up for the two of them.

She kept her portion smaller than Ronan's, placing a plate in front of Ronan she moved around the counter and sat down on a stool beside him. "You don't look very well" Grace said as she reached out and touched the side of Ronan's face. She was worried about him and only wanted to make him feel happy instead of stressed about everything that was going on with the business.

Her smile melted away the prickling of irritation that'd wound around him. He massaged the tension from his neck and rolled his shoulders, he offered a smile in turn, "I'm okay now, thanks." When she leaned in to kiss he met her half-way grateful. She's so sweet. 

When she served them both and cupped the side of his face he leaned into her touch and kissed the inside of her palm. He met her eyes, smiled a little more, "Nothing we can't handle." He chuckled and turned to the delectable meal she'd graciously set for him. Picking up the fork he dug into the chicken. The flavors of spices and a little something extra he couldn't put a name to danced across his tongue in brilliant harmony. 

Maybe it was time to fire the house chef.

"As long as you're okay." She said with a smile as she ran her fingers through her hair before she tucked her hair behind her ears to keep them out of her eyes.

Grace made a small nod of her head with a soft smile when he said that it was nothing they couldn't  handle. Watching as he started to eat the food she smiled at him and took a bite of her own food, "Do you like it?" She asked with a slight raised brow, wanting to know what he really thought of her cooking. She loved cooking, it was relaxing and fun for her to do.

Slowly eating her own food Grace looked at Ronan waiting for him tell her what he thought of her cooking.

Even if he wasn't he couldn't tell her. She had enough to deal with and he wasn't about to dump his load of stressors over her. As long as she's happy, as long as she loved him, as long as she was by his side he didn't want to do anything, cause anything to shatter what they were trying—what he was trying to build. A family. One of his own. One that wouldn't break. No matter what, he told himself he wasn't going to lose that. Lose her and what she meant for him. 

He nearly missed her question, he blinked and realized he was half-way through the meal, "Oh, yeah, it's really good." Ronan nodded, "No joke, this is better than what the hired chef does and he's five-star grade. Just don't tell him I said that." He nudged her shoulder and laughed, it didn't feel forced, not with her. There were times when he felt as though he had to pretend all was alright even when they weren't. He wanted that with her too. For them to be alright.

Grace waited patiently for Ronan to speak, she knew there was something bothering him but she wasn't going to pressure him into telling her anything he didn't feel comfortable telling her. When he said that it was better than what the chef made Grace laughed when he nudged her shoulder making her smile, "I wont tell him. It'll be our little secret" she said with a grin.

She loved how easily the two of them could talk with each other when they tried, yes it had been very hard at the beginning being married to a man who was married to his work. But at least the two of them were trying to make their marriage work even though so far it was a little rocky but Grace knew they could do it. Finishing off her food Grace moved on the stool so she was facing Ronan. Placing her elbow on the counter she rested her head on her hand.

"You know you can tell my anything that is bothering you right?" she asked him softly as she reached out and touched one of his hands gently.

Her touch sent a wave of heat coursing along his flesh and his heart gave a little jump that surprised him. He looked to her and smiled, she's such a dear isn't she? He curled his fingers around hers, gave a little squeeze.

"Work's been a pain in the ass, I think you already know about my old man and his colorful history with the company. One of the CEO's were giving me shit for it. So I," He averted his gaze, this wasn't exactly the crowning moment of awesome for him, "may have told him off."

Grace gave a small nod of her head as she listened to Ronan, "I know of his history" she said softly but continued to be quiet as he continued to speak. When he said that he may have told off a CEO for giving him shit she gave a small laugh, "Well, I am glad you told him off. You stood up for yourself" Grace said smiling as she leaned into him and kissed the corner of his mouth gently.

Hearing clicking of high heels walking towards them Grace leaned back a little and looked towards where the sound was coming from. "Ronan Esparda, if I was not wearing Jimmy Choo's and a nice dress I would be kicking your ass six ways from Sunday" came Natalie's voice as she walked into the kitchen holding a garment bag in her right hand.

"Did you really need to piss Takahashi off?" Natalie questioned placing a hand on her hip before she glanced at her watch and sighed, "Damn, we don't have time for this" she groaned before she looked at Grace and pointed a finger at her. "Come with me cutie, need to get you dressed. I picked out the perfect dress for you to wear to the fund-raiser tonight" she said as she grabbed Grace's arm and pulled from up from the stool and began to walk out of the kitchen before she looked back at Ronan.

"Don't make me dress you as well Ronan" Natalie teased with a smirk before she pulled Grace away.

She agreed. And damn he was. Glad she understood, somehow that relieved him. And when Grace pressed a gentle kiss to his lips he felt awesome. He thanked her and was about to return the affection when Natalie showed up, said her piece and quite literally stole Grace away.

Something about a fund-raiser. Shit. How had he forgotten? Ronan sprang to his feet and bolted out the kitchen to shower and sharpen up. If Takahashi lost his shit over a dumb argument he was sure to become the ink in the glass of water tonight. Damn it, as if the stress of holding down two companies wasn't enough already.

In under an hour he was dressed as only a man of his caliber could, perfect and precise. A man in a masquerade prepared to take on the world of false smiles and judgy eyes. It's been that way long as he could remember, watching dad handle it with professionalism and a coolness that almost seemed inhuman. He may as well throw on a smile and play his role.

It's either go with the flow, or lose everything.

Ronan awaited Grace at the steps, she's taken a lot longer to prepare than ever, typical. But surprisingly enough he never called out to them nor did he feel particularly eager to even attend the company event. He may be CEO, but he's not like his dad. He wasn't into the lime-light or the fake praises that came with his accomplishments.

"Are we prepared to go, Grell?"

The old man at the door nodded, his expression calm and cool, "Yes, sir, we are ready to go."

Natalie walked down the stairs and looked at Ronan and grinned, "Looking spiffy" she said with a laugh as she got to the bottom of the stairs. "If you weren't married to Grace I would sweep her off her feet and whisk her away" Natalie said with a dreamy sigh. Grace looked at herself in the mirror, the dress Natalie had gotten for her was a beautiful off the shoulder white and gold floor length dress with a bodice with intricate designs on it.

Shaking her head she sighed a little to herself. She felt too made up, yes her makeup was gentle enough and her hair was pulled up into a beautiful ponytail but Grace had never worn a dress like the one she was now wearing. Deciding she had procrastinated enough she left the room and headed downstairs, looking down at the floor as she walked she slowly looked up at Ronan when she reached the bottom of the stairs and she held her arms out to the side a little.

"Does it look okay?" Grace asked softly, Natalie grinned as she looked between Grace and Ronan and she snickered a little when Grace asked if it looked again. "Sweetheart, if Ronan would let me, I'd take you home with me. You look scrumptious" Natalie said grinning before she turned away from the two of them and headed out towards the car wanting to get everything moving smoothly so than they didn't waste too much more time.

Grace blushed lightly at Natalie's comment as she let her arms fall down and clasped her hands in front of herself as she waited to hear what Ronan thought of the elaborate dress she was now wearing.

Grace smiled shyly when Ronan said she looked beautiful, holding onto his arm she gave a nod of her head as he lead them to the limo. Natalie grinned as soon as she saw the two of them, "Ah, a picture perfect couple" she said with a laugh before she climbed into the limo and made Grace shake her head. Climbing into the limo she settled into the seat comfortably and folded her hands into her lap. These were things she was used to attending. But now she was attending as a wife to a billionaire.

Natalie relaxed on a seat across from Grace and smiled lazily, "So, there is going to be a lot of reporters and things tonight. As usual they will be looking for a nice juicy story to run that will make you look more like the uncontrollable wife that the papers are making you look like" Natalie said casually as she shifted some of her hair from her eyes. "The security inside of the building in very tight, reporters and the like aren't allowed inside but that doesn't mean that the guests wont talk to reporters given the chance. Some of them do like to make trouble to Ronan so keep your wits about you" Natalie added.

The muscles of his back tightened, was it the suit? The limo? The event? Or a cocktail of it all combined? Natalie just had to remind them of the vultures, their flashing eyes and eager claws. He reached for the chilled bottle and served himself a glass of champagne. He needed a little liquid courage. Eyes like ice, focused at the world in a blur. He averted his gaze, took a slow breath. "I don't want to hear about it, Natalie. Nor will I be taking any of their shit tonight." Of course his spat with the Mr Takahashi is just more flames under him, setting the reporters or the vulteres on edge, they'd bombard him with questions and rumors. He gave Natalie a sharp glare, "I won't tolerate their incessant questioning, do your job and ensure this event is solely focused on the charity." If Grace wanted to answer to them, that was all her. But a part of him did t want her to get anymore involved with them.

Natalie rolled her eyes a little at Ronan "You have to hear about it because I have to hear about it" she stated simply without batting and eye. "I can only control the vultures so much when it comes to questioning you". Grace looked between the two of them for a moment before she leaned back into the seat and closed her eyes letting herself relax for a moment. "If you want Ronan we can bypass the press and go straight inside" Natalie suggested just as the car pulled to a stop outside the venue and camera flashes could be seen already going off at the simple sight of the car.

Ronan nodded, naturally as it came with the job. But he'd resist anyway. He did not handle being bullied by so called business associates. Even if it meant calling off deals. It wasn't as though the deal with him Mr Takahashi couldn't be replaced by another would-be business mogul. Their company wasn't in any real danger now, especially since he wasn't his father. "I'd rather skip it, I came here out of obligation to the company. If I want to answer questions, I'll hold a press... Not any time soon." Pft, who had time for that anyways? He glanced at Grace and reached for her hand. He had more important things to focus on, like a wife who he wanted to see as his future partner. A goal he wouldn't let anyone get in the way of. "Everything will be just fine." She wasn't one for these sort of events, having been molded into something she wasn't by her family. He understood exactly where she stood. "I'll keep them from pestering us, if it gets out of hand, we'll depart early." If he could make this any easier for her, he would.

Natalie gave a nod of her head when Ronan said that he would rather bypass the press, "Fair enough" she said and gave a small wave of her hand to the driver to take them around the back of the venue which the press were not permitted to go near. Grace opened her eyes when Ronan took her hand, looking at him she gave a small smile at him "I know it will" Grace said softly. When he said that he would keep them from pestering them and that they would leave early if it became too much Grace leaned into him and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek "Okay" she said softly as she gave him another soft smile as the car stopped once again and Natalie opened the door and climbed out adjusting her dress a little as she held onto the door waiting for Grace and Ronan to climb out as well.