An Asshole and a Gentleman (PG13 I suppose?)

(Yes, the title is a reference to 'An Officer and a Gentleman', deal with it. Also, Hades, Hecate, and Kuma, are all characters of mine on another site. Hades and Hecate run hell, along with their 'General's, whom Kuma is one of.)




It was not uncommon for yelling to be occuring in the Hellfire Citadel. However, the reasons for the yelling were always varied, as was the case...

"No."

"Please, sir, I just-"

"No."

"Sir, please listen, I just-"

"What part of 'No' don't you understand?"

"Please, I'm begging you! I just want-"

"I said no, damnit! Don't you ever fuckin' listen!? ...Ah...ah, fuck, Kuma, don't...come on, don't...don't cry, damnit..." Hades, for once, was at a loss for words. One of his most loyal generals, who had been at his side all these years, had just broken down into tears...thanks to him. He grit his teeth a bit, palming his face. "Kuma, come on...I...I'm sorry, alright? I just...did you really think I would want to...it doesn't even make sense to ask..."

He watched as she continued to sob in front of him, a disgusted look forming on his face. "Stop crying...I said stop...ugh...Kuma...stop fuckin' cryin'!" Kuma let out a little 'Eep' in shock, looking up at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. She was shocked to see him looking sheepish. "...Fine...I'll do it." Kuma just looked even more shocked, a bit of hope starting to creep up.

"R-really? You...you'll really do it?" Hades practically flinched, really not wanting to say yes, but the decision was made. It was the only way he could alleviate his guilt over making her cry like that.

"...Yes, really. I'll...escort you to this...prom-thing, or whate-guh!" He doubled over a bit as the woman slammed into him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Thank you! Thank you so much, sir!" She was completely ignoring Hades' attempts to pry her off of him. He was strong, but couldn't bring himself to hurt her.

"I thought I told you to stop callin' me 'Sir', Kuma. We've known eachother for fuckin'-ever, I don't know why you insist on callin' me that...."

"I promise sir, I'll make it up to you, okay!?" Kuma continued to hug Hades tightly, and eventually, he just stopped trying to pry her off, sighing in resignation.

"Tch...you bet your ass you'll make it up to me...a prom...why the hell are you askin' me, of all people? Why do you even want to go? I still don't know why you are goin' to a human high-school!" Kuma didn't let go of Hades, just shifted a bit, her chin pressing against Hades' chest as she looked up at him cutely.

"I'm going to school because I wanted to experience it. Prom because it's part of the experience. I asked you because, well, it's you. Why would I want to take anyone other than my beloved 'Sir'?"

"Geh..." Hades looked away, trying desperately not to blush. The ruler of hell does NOT blush, nor is he susceptible to sappy shit! "Fine, fine, I got it...and you ruined that line with the 'Sir' part." Kuma just giggled, and released Hades, much to his relief.

"I'm gonna go get ready! I'll see you at the school at eight o'clock!" Kuma ran off excitedly, and Hades just sighed, defeated...until something clicked.

"YOU MEAN IT'S TONIGHT!?"

~~~~

A few hours later, Hades was sitting in a chair in Hecate's room, glaring at the wall, arms crossed, as his sister worked with his hair. "...I don't see why you are forcin' me to do all this just to 'make a good impression'. I don't give a shit what a bunch of teenagers at some school think of me. I'm only goin' because Kuma was being a pain..." He ignored Hecate's chuckle.

"Hades, you always forget that I'm the one person you can't lie to. Anyway, you want Kuma to have a good time, right?" Hades grumbled a bit, but Hecate knew what he was 'not saying'. "Well, then you need to make a good impression. If you go all out and act like the gentleman I know you can be when you want, then she'll enjoy things that much more, especially since she'll know you care enough to put forth the effort. Also, the girls will be jealous for a more concrete reason than 'cause all the guys want her'." She noticed Hades tense a bit at that, and grinned devilishly.

"I mean, have you paid any attention to things at that school she's been going to? The guy's watch her wherever she goes. For good reason, too. She's a beautiful girl. You know, I heard several guys even asked her out, and-"

"Who was it!? Did they touch her!? I'll fuckin' kill every last one of those cock-suckin' little-mhf!" Hades was pulled back into his seat by Hecate, who also clamped a hand over his mouth, talking to him in a gentle voice.

"Brother dear, calm down, I was kidding." She winced a bit as Hades bit her hand in retaliation, and removed her hand from his mouth, calmly inspecting the rapidly healing wound. She sighed, and licked the excess blood from her fingers, making Hades shudder.

"I hate when you do that."

"Then stop biting me just because I'm trying to shut you up. Anyway, I lied about those kids trying to ask her out because I knew you'd react violently, because you care about her more than you are willing to admit. You don't react that violently when the other girls go on dates and such."

"...Shut up..." Hecate smiled warmly at Hades quiet, rebellious response, going back to fixing his hair. After a bit of silence, Hades spoke again. "So...you're saying that if I 'behave' myself, and act like a pus- I mean a 'gentleman', she'll have a better time?" Hecate 'hmm'ed in the affirmative, and Hades sighed. "Sheesh...women...pains in the ass, the lot of ya."

"Mm, yes, we tend to be like that. Get used to it. On the bright side, the theme of the prom seems to be medieval, so you can go in your armor and fit right in." Hades simply grumbled irritably. His mind was already on other things, like the fact that if he wanted Kuma to truly enjoy herself at this prom, he had to put forth the effort. Could he do that? ...He liked to think so.

~~~~

Kuma was pacing a bit at the prom entrance, biting her lip a bit. She was nervous, and people were staring. Not because of the wings on her head or back, as they were used to those, but because they'd never seen her looking so nervous. She was always so chipper. She was worried, however, that Hades would change his mind and refuse to come. She'd understand if he did, but...she really wanted him to come. It was almost time for things to start, and Hades still wasn't here. She ignored the snide comments from other girls about her date not even bothering to pick her up, since she'd told Hades to meet her there. She expected Hades to, if he showed up, grudgingly accompany her, then tell her not to bother him with things like this again. As such, his arrival shocked the, ahem, hell out of her.

Kuma watched with wide eyes as Hades arrived on, of all things, a pegasus. The pure white horse landed in front of her, and Hades smoothly dismounted as the other teenagers stared in awe, none having seen one of these rare creatures before. Hades ignored it, instead coming over to Kuma and holding out her hand to her with a smile, precisely as the clock struck eight. "Good evening, my dear." As Kuma slowly slipped her hand into his, he brought it up to place a soft kiss on her knuckles, bowing as he did. "I am here to accompany you on this beautiful night, if you will have me." Kuma was almost too shocked to speak, but she managed anyway.

"O-okay..." Hades smiled, standing up straight, ignoring the fact that, once the pegasus had flown away, attention had turned to him and his gleaming gold armor. He led Kuma into the prom as if she were a princess of the highest importance. Kuma simply followed, trying not to stare at Hades too much.

~~~~

The night progressed smoothly, and Kuma could honestly say that she'd never been happier. Hades was being downright charming. He opened doors, pulled out chairs, spoke eloquently, and even asked her to dance on multiple occassions. He'd even reigned in his famous temper at one point! Some girl had made a comment, and while she hadn't cared at all, Hades apparently had. He'd stood, walked over, and...spoke calmly to the girl.

"Excuse me. I do not appreciate the comment you have made against my date, and while I realize you said it simply because you are insecure and jealous, that does not mean I will tolerate it. I would appreciate it if you kept such comments to yourself, lest they lead to complications for you later in life. School is a time of second chances, but later in life, you get one shot. You may be the top dog here, but with that attitude, you'll be the one being stepped on in the real world. If you don't want to end up old and alone, you'd better take a good, long look at yourself in the mirror before passing judgement on someone else...." He paused, seeming to think, then tacked onto the end, "...bitch." Then he went back to Kuma, being the perfect gentleman once again.

Kuma was practically glowing.

~~~~

The night was winding down. Many couples had left, though a few were still around, sitting and talking, dancing, getting ready to leave...Hades was sweeping Kuma across the dancefloor, and sweeping her off her feet as well. It was obvious that the smile she wore was far more than her usual optimism. Hades just had a charming smile on the whole night, and talked and laughed with everyone as if he'd known them all for years. He didn't know it, but he'd be the talk of the school for days. He didn't really care about that though, so it didn't matter. He kept his attention on Kuma, as if she was the most important person in the world. When the song switched to a slow one, Hades pulled Kuma close, swaying with her. This surprised her the first time a slow song had come on, but she'd quickly, and happily, gotten used to it. She laid her head on Hades' chest, sighing softly.

"...Having fun, my dear?" Hades' voice was soft, gentle...Kuma was relishing getting this kind of attention from him.

"Yes sir...more fun that I thought I could ever have...thank you for doing this for me, sir...it's the best night of my life...I know I owe you, and I'll gladly pay whatever price you want..." She was surprised when Hades responded in his usual way of speaking, though much more gently.

"Good, cause I'm collectin' on that debt now." Kuma sighed, wishing things could have lasted longer, but nodded. "First, you are never to call me 'Sir' again. Or 'Master' or any other name like that. It's Hades." Kuma looked up at him, shocked, but smiled a bit.

"Alright, si-...Hades. What else?" She blinked when Hades grinned, and let out a yelp as he suddenly lowered her into a dip, his face inches from hers.

"Second, and last, you are goin' to go on a real date with me. We will talk, have dinner, maybe go for a walk, definitely have fun, and if I am lucky and you are up for it, maybe we'll finish off the date with a good bit of hot sex, eh?" Kuma was too shocked to respond, but it didn't matter much as Hades finished this off with a deep, passionate kiss that practically shattered her mind. When Hades finally broke the kiss and set Kuma firmly on her feet, she finally seemed to snap out of it, and just looked up at Hades in wonder. He simply cocked an eyebrow. After a moment, Kuma simply hugged him tightly and, for once, he didn't try to pry her off, nor did he want to.

"...Three things."

"Shoot."

"Um...first, can we call it love-making?" Hades blinked, then chuckled softly.

"I don't see why not."

"Second...is it a one-night-stand thing, or..."

"It's an exclusive thing. You, me, and nobody else. A real relationship. It's time I settled down."

"Ah..."

"....What's the third thing, Kuma?" Kuma blushed a bit, then looked up at Hades sheepishly.

"Um...can this night end with love-making too?"

"..." Hades blinked, cocked an eyebrow, and then chuckled softly. "You already know the answer to that." Kuma giggled a bit, and sighed happily as Hades put his arm around her, leading her toward the door. "...I'm glad you asked me to escort you tonight, Kuma."

"I'm glad you agreed to come..."

"Heh...as if I could stand-up a beautiful girl that's always been there for me. Who do you think I am, the Devil?"

"...That's not funny."

"Yeah, I know."

"...Cute though."

"Oi, I'm not 'cute'. Hot, sexy, handsome, badass...never 'cute."

"Alright, Cutie-Pie."

"Oi!" He glared half-heartedly at Kuma as she giggled cutely, before he just shook his head, chuckling. "Heh...don't know why it took me so long to realize just what kind of treasure I had with me all these years."

"..Hades..thank you...though, you know you didn't have to be so...so...amazing, tonight, right? Just having you there would have been good enough for me..." Hades paused, looking at her for a moment, then pulled her into a hug, shocking her greatly. A kiss was one thing, but something as 'sappy' as a hug...

"Kuma, I wanted to make sure you had a great night, okay? You deserved a special night, and I wanted to give it to you. And truth be told, I enjoy spendin' time with you. You're a good woman, Kuma. I've just been too stupid to realize it until today."

Kuma broke into tears for the second time that day, but this time, they were tears that Hades didn't mind as he held her, smiling softly. "I've been an idiot and a player for a long time...too long, really. I think it's time I finally give my full attention to the one who deserves it most, eh? Let's go home, Kuma..."

~~~~

Hecate laid on her bed in her room, reading a book and trying to ignore the sounds of Hades and Kuma having wild sex in the other room. She was certainly glad that her brother had pulled his head out of his ass, but she wished he could have gone to Kuma's room instead of his own. "Really need to kill whoever built our rooms to be next to eachother..." She turned the page and tried to focus on the words, though couldn't help but smile when she heard Kuma's bell-like laugh from the other room. "Heh, I am too good...I'm like Hitch, but with tits..."

~Fin~